Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
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