I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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