He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
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