Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
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