I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
