Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
