Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
they're like a gay fantastic four
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Randomize
