Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
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