Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
My ass is underappreciated
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
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