What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
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