i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
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