you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Randomize
