What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
Randomize
