paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
Randomize
