there was a trapeze. enough said
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
Randomize
