anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
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