he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
Randomize
