Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
Randomize
