I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
Randomize
