no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
I forgot wine drunk hurts
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
