I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
Randomize
