too bad you live with your parents still
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
Randomize
