fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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