kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
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