I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize
