You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
Randomize
