Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
Randomize
