Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
How drunk are you?
Completed.
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