careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize