just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
no. you can't hotbox the world.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
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