She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
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