It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
