Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
Randomize
