so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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