i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
