I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
Randomize
