What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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