I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
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