I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Randomize