...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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