8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
