You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
she told me i tasted like america
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
