U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Randomize
