I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
