I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
