But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
I'm just crazy horny about you
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
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