Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
Randomize