so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Randomize
