Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
please don't ironically join a cult
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