me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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