he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
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