Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
I'm drive I can fine osifer
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
He shit in the fireplace
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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