I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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