Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Randomize
