he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
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