I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
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