I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
Randomize
