How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
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