whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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