No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
it was like having sex with a tree stump
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
Randomize
