new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
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