They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
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