whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
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