She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
Randomize
