I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
Randomize
