normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Randomize