so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
Randomize
