remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Randomize
